A few months had passed since my last date and I was feeling ready to get back into the idea of meeting someone. I don’t really like meeting guys at bars for two reasons. Reason #1: the odds of meeting a quality person there are slim at best. Reason 2: it’s really hard to concentrate on what the other person is saying with music blasting, half a beer spilled on their shirt, and the ever zealous mating call of the drunk people in the background. So, I went for the online dating thing again. A couple of interesting guys had taken the time to email me and I thought I would take the time to meet each one and see if we had anything in common. This first guy was very successful in what he did, in fact he was pretty renowned in the area and he sent me many links so I could view his work that had been in local publications. He seemed intelligent and really proud of his accomplishments and went on and on about his business. He appeared to enjoy what he did and seemed passionate about it which I found attractive. I hesitate to say what he did since he’s well known in the community, but we’ll just say his work is related to weddings.
We’d been talking for about a week when we decided to meet up at a restaurant in Northgate. We struck up a quick conversation when he asked me “do you want to do me a huge favor?” I raised an eyebrow… “maybe…what is it?” He laughed and said, “nothing too major, but I promised one of my ‘brides’ that I would show up at her birthday party at a casino, do you want to be my date?” I shrugged my shoulders in indifference which he took for a “yes”. “Great!” He replied. “You’ll really like them, they’re awesome people, I just LOVE my ‘couples’ ”. We hadn’t been at the restaurant for more than 15 minutes, but I was starting to notice very effeminate qualities to his voice and mannerisms. He rolled his eyes and flicked his hands a lot and caught himself talking in a higher pitch and would quickly clear his throat and talk an octave (or two) lower. But, I am aware that there are some men that are more manly than others and it doesn’t have anything to do with their sexual orientation. Still, it was in the back of my mind that it may be an issue. Don’t get me wrong, I love gay men, I just prefer not to date them.
I tried to dismiss this thought thinking that maybe I was being too judgmental. At any rate we head down to the casino and we’re getting along pretty well. When the conversation took a quiet dip, he looked at me and said “Can I ask you a question?” Again, the eyebrows lift. “Sure,” I reply. “Do you get a sort of…gay vibe from me?” He asks. Startled and then realizing it must not just be me, that other women must have picked up on this too, I replied “No! Huh uh…Not at all!” I cringed as I realized that maybe the third “No” was overdoing it and he may have caught on to the fact that I was lying. He proceeded to tell me that he had three sisters and was home schooled and so he spent a lot of time around women and that’s where he’d picked up the mannerisms. It sounded like a well-rehearsed speech. “Possibly,” I thought to myself, “but that doesn’t explain the keen sense of fashion.” He had on a canary yellow shirt with great buttoned cuffs, a Burberry scarf, and a nice pair of brown suede shoes. Also, a few minutes earlier he had taken the time to notice the only piece of jewelry worth any value that I currently own, my right hand ring. It is a very intricate design with many tiny diamonds in three rows that sparkles in the light. When he saw my ring, he gushed. “I love it! It’s a lot like mine!” He proceeded to hold out his right hand and had a glowing white gold ring with even more sparkle on it than mine had. Now, I’m not an expert, but I know a ton of guyfriends and just the idea of a plain gold ring when they get married sometimes seems to feminine to them, let alone one adorned with so many tiny diamonds that it resembled the sparkly glow of a disco ball. “Okay,” I thought, “so this probably isn’t the guy for you, but he’s nice enough so let’s go to the casino, say hi to his friends and hightail it out of there.”
We walked into the casino and saw the bride’s family and the couple eating at the seafood buffet. As we approached the table, she recognized him and got up to him for a hug. “Hi!” She said, but with a slightly awkward undertone. “How are you? I haven’t seen you since the wedding!” They exchanged pleasantries and I gathered from the conversation that he wasn’t exactly “invited” per say to the birthday event. It was a blanket facebook invite that he had responded to, and he handed her a $10 Starbucks giftcard. Now, to be fair, I have done this one time as well. Randomly shown up at someone’s birthday that was just a public post on facebook. But, that is a whole other story! Anyway, so he says hi to the family who look quite surprised to see him there, and even more so when he introduces me. “Hi everyone, good to see you again. This is my date, Kasey”. The table went quiet and they all had some variation of the “huh?” face. I was beginning to feel like I was a beard. (If you don’t know the term, look it up on the urban dictionary, and don’t worry, it’s not bad. ) So we stand there uncomfortably hanging over their meal and then he says “well, we’ll be around so call me on my cell when you’re done and we’ll meet up.” And with that, we headed out.
On the way back I mentioned that I was quite tired, but he said “let me make this up to you, it’s been kind of an odd date and I’d like to buy you a drink.” “Okay,” I said “Follow me and we’ll go to a little hole in the wall up in Pinehurst”. I picked this place because I’d been there before and it was a few blocks from my house so that I could be home shortly after this was over. We hadn’t had anything to drink up until this point, but halfway through his Washington Apple, he pushed his drink my way and said “I’m getting a little tipsy, I’d better stop drinking this or I might make a move on you.” Okay, I thought, THAT seals it. I really need to go home.
We said our goodbyes and I headed to my place. I decided to look at his facebook to see if there were any more clues. There were many. Some in the form of pictures posed with his hands on his hips with other half naked men in togas. Some in the form of posts exclaiming at his excitement of shopping. (I.E. an actual post: I love Chicago, can you say BLOOMINGDALES!!!) He sent me a couple of texts and facebook messages after that. Conveniently I was in a wedding shortly thereafter and just kept making excuses that I was too busy with the upcoming event. “It’s better this way,” I thought, “I could never keep up with his sense of style.”
We’d been talking for about a week when we decided to meet up at a restaurant in Northgate. We struck up a quick conversation when he asked me “do you want to do me a huge favor?” I raised an eyebrow… “maybe…what is it?” He laughed and said, “nothing too major, but I promised one of my ‘brides’ that I would show up at her birthday party at a casino, do you want to be my date?” I shrugged my shoulders in indifference which he took for a “yes”. “Great!” He replied. “You’ll really like them, they’re awesome people, I just LOVE my ‘couples’ ”. We hadn’t been at the restaurant for more than 15 minutes, but I was starting to notice very effeminate qualities to his voice and mannerisms. He rolled his eyes and flicked his hands a lot and caught himself talking in a higher pitch and would quickly clear his throat and talk an octave (or two) lower. But, I am aware that there are some men that are more manly than others and it doesn’t have anything to do with their sexual orientation. Still, it was in the back of my mind that it may be an issue. Don’t get me wrong, I love gay men, I just prefer not to date them.
I tried to dismiss this thought thinking that maybe I was being too judgmental. At any rate we head down to the casino and we’re getting along pretty well. When the conversation took a quiet dip, he looked at me and said “Can I ask you a question?” Again, the eyebrows lift. “Sure,” I reply. “Do you get a sort of…gay vibe from me?” He asks. Startled and then realizing it must not just be me, that other women must have picked up on this too, I replied “No! Huh uh…Not at all!” I cringed as I realized that maybe the third “No” was overdoing it and he may have caught on to the fact that I was lying. He proceeded to tell me that he had three sisters and was home schooled and so he spent a lot of time around women and that’s where he’d picked up the mannerisms. It sounded like a well-rehearsed speech. “Possibly,” I thought to myself, “but that doesn’t explain the keen sense of fashion.” He had on a canary yellow shirt with great buttoned cuffs, a Burberry scarf, and a nice pair of brown suede shoes. Also, a few minutes earlier he had taken the time to notice the only piece of jewelry worth any value that I currently own, my right hand ring. It is a very intricate design with many tiny diamonds in three rows that sparkles in the light. When he saw my ring, he gushed. “I love it! It’s a lot like mine!” He proceeded to hold out his right hand and had a glowing white gold ring with even more sparkle on it than mine had. Now, I’m not an expert, but I know a ton of guyfriends and just the idea of a plain gold ring when they get married sometimes seems to feminine to them, let alone one adorned with so many tiny diamonds that it resembled the sparkly glow of a disco ball. “Okay,” I thought, “so this probably isn’t the guy for you, but he’s nice enough so let’s go to the casino, say hi to his friends and hightail it out of there.”
We walked into the casino and saw the bride’s family and the couple eating at the seafood buffet. As we approached the table, she recognized him and got up to him for a hug. “Hi!” She said, but with a slightly awkward undertone. “How are you? I haven’t seen you since the wedding!” They exchanged pleasantries and I gathered from the conversation that he wasn’t exactly “invited” per say to the birthday event. It was a blanket facebook invite that he had responded to, and he handed her a $10 Starbucks giftcard. Now, to be fair, I have done this one time as well. Randomly shown up at someone’s birthday that was just a public post on facebook. But, that is a whole other story! Anyway, so he says hi to the family who look quite surprised to see him there, and even more so when he introduces me. “Hi everyone, good to see you again. This is my date, Kasey”. The table went quiet and they all had some variation of the “huh?” face. I was beginning to feel like I was a beard. (If you don’t know the term, look it up on the urban dictionary, and don’t worry, it’s not bad. ) So we stand there uncomfortably hanging over their meal and then he says “well, we’ll be around so call me on my cell when you’re done and we’ll meet up.” And with that, we headed out.
On the way back I mentioned that I was quite tired, but he said “let me make this up to you, it’s been kind of an odd date and I’d like to buy you a drink.” “Okay,” I said “Follow me and we’ll go to a little hole in the wall up in Pinehurst”. I picked this place because I’d been there before and it was a few blocks from my house so that I could be home shortly after this was over. We hadn’t had anything to drink up until this point, but halfway through his Washington Apple, he pushed his drink my way and said “I’m getting a little tipsy, I’d better stop drinking this or I might make a move on you.” Okay, I thought, THAT seals it. I really need to go home.
We said our goodbyes and I headed to my place. I decided to look at his facebook to see if there were any more clues. There were many. Some in the form of pictures posed with his hands on his hips with other half naked men in togas. Some in the form of posts exclaiming at his excitement of shopping. (I.E. an actual post: I love Chicago, can you say BLOOMINGDALES!!!) He sent me a couple of texts and facebook messages after that. Conveniently I was in a wedding shortly thereafter and just kept making excuses that I was too busy with the upcoming event. “It’s better this way,” I thought, “I could never keep up with his sense of style.”
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