Chapter 3: The Surprise Christmas Guest

Late in November, fed up with liars and wanting to find someone to really hang out with, I gave in to the online dating craze.  I signed up for a free membership on Match.com and it was pretty interesting.  I got a ton of emails and I thought “this is great!  I can weed through a bunch of people and try to find someone who has a stable life and a lot in common with me.  This is SURE to work…right?”  Well it didn’t start off too bad, got to talking to a few people and I really enjoyed just chatting and taking time to get to know someone before meeting them in person.  So I started talking to a guy on there who was my age.  He had a degree in Marketing from a good college and seemed pretty together.  We emailed for about a week but couldn’t really find time to meet up that worked for both of us and it kind of fizzled out as quickly as it began.  I thought, “I’ll never have to see him so who cares?  Not a big deal, right?”  Wrong.  


About a month later and it’s Christmas time.  I haven’t really been dating anyone and not really talking to guys either.  I just sort of mellowed out for the holidays.  Here it was Christmas Eve and I was making some Hollandaise sauce on my Mom’s stove waiting for the rest of the family to arrive.  My mom mentions to me that my Uncle is bringing a friend to dinner who recently moved here from out of state and is my age.  Apparently my uncle sold him a car at the Toyota dealership and they struck up a friendship and hung out quite a bit.  Since this guy didn’t know too many people around here, my Uncle invited him to Christmas dinner.  Cool, no big deal, I set an extra place setting.  So as I get back to stirring the sauce, the doorbell rings and my mom answers it.  In walks my uncle with this shorter, very built blonde guy and I can’t put my finger on it but I recognized him from somewhere….hhhmmm……then it HIT me!  It was the guy from Match.  Really?  Of all the homes in the great state of Washington, why did THIS guy have to buy a car from MY uncle, become his friend, and show up for Christmas dinner at my mom’s house?  Did I murder someone in a past life?  


I looked down at the sauce which I had (in my moment of realization) whipped into submission by a frenzy of fast hand rotations while my mind reeled.  “Put the whisk down slowly” I thought to myself.  Crap crap crap!  How was I going to get out of this one?  I just didn’t want my family to know that I had signed up for online dating yet and Christmas Eve at my mom’s house was supposed to be a date free “safe zone”.  I quickly looked at my reflection on the oven door and realized I looked like a maniac, with flour on my face and my hair a mess.  I didn’t exactly dress to impress and anyways it just seemed awkward to me from the get go.  So I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and I try to clean up.  If he realizes who I am, I want to at least look presentable.  I realize it’s a lost cause and rest all my hope on the chance that he doesn’t recognize me.  


So we get through dinner and the night goes off without too much of a hitch.  I think to myself that I’ve made it through, he has no idea who I am and I can leave it at that.  At that moment Kami (who is about 17 months old at the time) walks straight over to the Christmas Guest and with both arms held straight up toward him she loudly proclaims “Daddy!”  At that moment I realize there is quite the strong resemblance between this guy and my ex.  In embarrassment he kind of looks over at me.  “No no, Kami, this is not daddy…” I say awkwardly and mouth “I’m so sorry” silently as I pull her off of him.  After we opened our white elephant presents and a new pair of Christmas pajamas for Kami, I get her changed and off to bed in my parent’s guest room where we had a crib set up for her.  At this point, my cousins and my brother want to go out for a drink.  I tell them I’ll drive my brother since I didn’t want to drink too much anyways as I had to get up early the next morning with Kamryn for Christmas presents and “Santa” with my parents.  We agree to meet up at a dive down the road. My uncle and his friend decide to join us, which I was okay with until I realized that the Christmas Guest had indeed recognized who I was and spilled the beans on the way to the pub.  “So Kay, you’re on Match.com huh?”  Ugh…I sigh a sigh of defeat and die a little inside of complete embarassment, my secret was out!  “Yep, I am.”  I quietly admit.  I decided that I wasn’t going to let this ruin my night as there was a karaoke stand with my name on it and I really wanted to have a good holiday.  I signed up for some songs and sang them as they came up.  My uncle went home and I ended up driving said Match guy to his apartment before my brother and I returned to my parents’ house.  A short while later, I found out that he already had a girlfriend back home and they were getting engaged.  I thought Match.com was supposed to be a “singles” dating site?  I guess he didn’t get the memo.