After the holidays were over and Spring rolled around, I realized I hadn’t been on a date in months and I wanted to try the Match thing again. I went online and met a nice guy a couple of years older than me. He had a good job and was pretty cute, but most importantly he was hilarious! His emails and phone calls almost always had me in fits of laughter, and if there’s one thing that I have a hard time resisting it’s a great sense of humor. So he decided to take me to Jillians (which on a side note quickly became my FAVORITE spot in Seattle). We play some pool, I kick his ass at Guitar Hero (on expert baby!) and we have a really good time. I do notice that while his hilarity continued, a new feature of his personality started to show up. He kept leaning in close to me and asking quietly and very seriously, “so how do you think the date is going so far? What do you think of me?” After the first time, it was cute. After the third or fourth time, it was a tad annoying. I thought insecurity was a girl thing?
After a few rounds of pool, we decided to head over to Ozzies as we both really enjoy some karaoke, and I usually have a great time there. Now, on a side note my friend Leo lives a few blocks away and we have frequented Ozzies many times. This will come into play later. So, as the night is progressing it’s going really well. I learn he’s from Texas and has a lot of that “Southern Gentlemen” thing to him. He pays for all my drinks opens doors, pulls out chairs, the works. He tells me he thinks I’m great, that I have beautiful eyes, and he’s been looking for someone just like me, yada yada yada. “Okay dude,” I thought to myself, “cool it a little, coming on a tad strong”. But in my slightly fuzzy redbull and vodka haze (I was on my second one) I decided to let it slide. About 10 minutes later he informed me that he had to go to the bathroom. He offered to get me another drink because he was going to get one on his way back while we waited for our song to be called. I decline because I know I’ll be driving in a couple of hours and I decided it was a bad idea. He leaves for the restroom and I sit there by myself. After a few minutes I think “hmmm, it’s been a while.” After 20 minutes I was starting to get irritated. At a half an hour past his exit for the crapper, I decide to go look in the line for drinks to see if he was over there. I look all around Ozzies and can’t find him, so I head for the door to leave. He finds me just as I’m about to go outside and says “I’ve been looking all over for you, where have you been?” “Ummmm at the table?” I replied. Weird, but whatever.
So we sit back down and our songs are called one by one. At this time I notice he is plastered. He’s singing a song by the great Johnny Cash and apparently couldn’t read the screen or was speaking in Yugoslavian because only about a third of the words coming out of his mouth made sense. I didn’t know Cash had renamed his big hit “Folosolumn prissson” Irritated, I texted my friend Leo to see if they were nearby so I could ditch this date. I get a text back from him almost immediately. “We’re at Ozzies by the dance floor”. Really?! That's great, they're here too! I was so ecstatic, it appeared my luck was turning around. I head over to where Leo had said he was, and my date drunkenly follows me along. The goofy grin from ear to ear on my date's face disappears as we reach the table where my friend is sitting with two pretty girls. “Hey!” One of the girls says addressing my date “you’re back? Are you…on…a date?” “Umm…who is she and why would she care?” I thought. After this weird exchange, my date pulls me onto the dance floor and we cut a rug for a few songs but I decide to call it a night. He walks me to my car and keeps trying to kiss me and ask me if I will be his girlfriend, to both things I declined. Girlfriend? I just met this guy two hours ago! We part ways and I say goodnight, hoping he’ll sleep it off. “It’s not going so well at this point, but maybe he was nervous” I thought to myself.
On my drive home he calls me again “hey, where did you go? You should have told me it was the end of the night?” What?!?!?! This guy is nuts, what was he talking about?! I thought the walk to my car and me saying “goodnight” sort of took care of that? Not sure what else I could have done aside from hold up a black and white checkered flag to signify the night was over. What was going on? I got my explanation the next morning from Leo. Turns out that while I waited at our table for half an hour, my date had spotted Leo’s friend at the table and chatted her up for a while, flirting heavily and getting her number, the whole time unaware that I was friends with one of the people at the table. Apparently after about 30 minutes he remembered he was on a date because he told her that he had to find his “buddy” and he’d be back later. Then as he saw me looking for him he acted as if he had been looking for me all along. He meant to call the other girl and ask her where she went after I said goodbye. Really?! Talk about ridiculous. The next morning he called me and asked me if he could take me out to dinner that Tuesday night. “You’ve got to be kidding right?” I asked him. “Do you remember anything about last night? You left me at the table for 30 minutes to hit on someone else who happened to be there with one of MY friends. I think we’re done here.” I said as I hung up the phone. Guess he wasn’t such a “Southern Gentlemen” after all.
No comments:
Post a Comment